I like big butts…..and I CAN lie Friday, Nov 3 2006

The title speaks for itself. I thought hey I’m going to try what these marketing geniuses do everyday. Bombard us with images that have absolutely nothing to do with the product. However, it grabs our attention to where we remember it. A very disjointed but smart process. So now that I have your attention, let me share whats on my heart. The conglomeration of food. You know what I’m talking about, where you mix and match food to the point people make grotesque facial expressions in your direction. See I’m the kind of guy that likes my food crunchy. So naturally fritos or tortilla chips usually follow my food. The next question would be, “Jordan, what do you like to eat.” ZAZING, somehow I knew you were going to ask that. Ok usually I dont eat breakfast(LOL I was just thinking of that new sonic commercial, which I cant find because of the stupid filter at work*****grabs rabbit out of hat,******Booooooooooooooooooooooyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyah corporate bloodsuckers, its called a proxyyyyyieeeeeeeeeieieieieie aaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyahhhhhhhhhhh.

Ok I’m still not going to be able to find the link. But, you can probably find it yourself on youtube. They are funny because of the awkwardness and stupidity(the other funny one was about the accelerated high school plan). Speaking of rabbits, I just went on a ginormous rabbit trail(ginormous is gigantic and enormous exponentially multiplied to the 100th power). Grits, wow what a great breakfast food. Nothing like tiny corn in an almost soupy state to satisfy the break from your 8 hour a night fast. But only on Saturdays, see there is a mental block in my brain to where I usually cannot eat before 8 a.m. Dont ask me why. As soon as the grits come piping hot out of the microwave I crush up chips and put them in there. Wowsers. what a great combo, I wish I could go through a drive thru and say grit combo #3 please. I could imagine the lady at the window say would you like cheese, philadelphia cream cheese, and some pepper with that. In the great words of Napoleon Dynamite, “heck yeah”!!!!!!!. So that is one of my many conglomeration of food stories.

P.S. Please note how many times I say I in my posts. Yes even though this is my blog, my highschool English teacher(Mrs.Barley) would not be proud.

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Nothing…….absolutely nothing Thursday, Nov 2 2006

As I sit here in the drudgery of cubicle life, I’m reminded that the only reason there is drudgery is I perceive there is drudgery. I could pull myself out of the muck and mire(even though while a great analogy, sounds really grotesque). and have the best day I ever had. See the problem and solution lies in my perception. Do I persevate through the audacious people that I often cross paths with? Do I automatically assume the fetal position and rock myself while mumbling,” I like skittles and combos.”Or do I stare so intently at my computer monitor when you see me you will be reading gnihton yletulosba…….gnihton on my forehead. Ok before I go any farther I have to admit I first tried to find an online tool to do that for me, then sadly enough I took the time to spell that backwards. Back on track Jordan Back on track!!!!!!!!!! Ok so drudgery….wait let me find a synonym for drudgery****flips to webster only to find……….*****, wait can’t find one because Mr.Webster decided to give me work as a synonym for drudgery. Sorry, I just dont see the correlation. I was trying to find this elaborate word that would make the readers think I was really smart, only to find a normal mundane word called work. I think I have just lowered my I.Q by just saying work, why is that? Glad you asked. The reasoning is simple, the more a word is used, the less forceful it becomes. ( I will also refer to my commercialization post). The only word I think that has stood the test of “over exertion” is awesome. I mean cmon you can’t go wrong with AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So forecful it gives me chills. This just goes to prove that the Bible is correct when it tells us how powerful our words are. (I will not give you verses dangit, go look them up yourselves)

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Happiness vs. Materiality Wednesday, Nov 1 2006

This is such a cliche little argument. However really think about it(yes I did make up that second word), and what it measn.  As I was writing this, I happened to look back at one of my email folders that contain my daily verse and devotional I get through crosswalk. Funny thing is the daily devotional talks about this same thing…………which boils down to contentment. Let me add this devotional in here.

November 1, 2006

Discovering Our Real Needs

Philippians 4:10-20

 

          Grand, sweeping statements can be hard to take. We’ve all turned on the TV and heard confident claims such as, “Got a problem? God has the answer!” That can cause something in our spirit just tighten up.

          Whenever someone makes any kind of bold statement, we must consider the source. Who is making the claim? Does that person really understand my situation? If we are in the midst of a struggle, we may wonder, Is this a person who knows what pain feels like? Or we ask ourselves, Is this someone I can trust? So, when we read Philippians 4:19, “My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus,” we have to stop and ask, Can I trust the writer? The answer, without a doubt, is yes.

          Paul was not always a bubbly, happy-go-lucky communicator. He was bold and brash, spreading truth whenever and wherever it was necessary. He also knew what it meant to be in need. In fact, he wrote the book of Philippians from an Ephesian jail where he was most likely chained to a prison guard. More importantly, Paul knew where to get his needs met. Even in this dark situation, not knowing when or if he would ever be freed from his chains, Paul reveals something amazing: his contentment. He trusted that God’s hand was at work, no matter how the outward circumstances appeared.

          As you consider your present circumstances—your place in life and current needs—would you say you’re content? Do you believe the Lord truly can and will meet your needs according to His glory

 

That is the kicker. We become so numb to the fact that we have been given so much yet we always seem to focus on what we dont have. Yes I am bundling up and throwing myself in the mix here.  I always like reading Ecclesiastes to point out what Creed has in one of their songs (Whats This Life For). At the end of our journey, what has been the most important thing. Why focus on material possessions when you cant even take them with you, they are fleeting and are a vapor. It definitely puts a different perspective on what you consider as important. This then leads into worrying which I wont get into today. I just think it is funny how one subject can flow into another in a logical process.

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Dongle Tuesday, Oct 31 2006

Ok I just couldnt pass this up. why is this just the funniest sounding word of all time. Dongle Dongle Dongle Dongle Dongle. I dont know it makes me laugh so hard. It is probably the dodiest sounding word of all time. If I remember correctly, this definitely coinsides with the cartoons where the character would go,”which way did he go george?Which way did he go”. They would say it in the goofiest possible way with big buck teeth and crossed eyes and pointing in both directions. So naturally when I came across this word in a slashdot article i naturally had to see where did dongle come from? Well never fear because wikipedia is here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dongle

(on a side note if you use firefox you can type in the url bar wp then the word you want to look up and the wikipedia article associated with it comes up)

So I kept digging(yes i love www.digg.com), and kept searching, I kept on sweating, and bleeding ok…..I will stop. Anyways there is a whole study of words and language (linguistics). I dug so far I came out in China. Actually i found this cool word called spoonerism

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism

If you read at the bottom they have funny spoonerisms in other languages, especially Polish. According to wikipedia spoonerisms are really popular in Polish. So why everybody cracks jokes about Polish and stupidity they have one thing going for them……..yes you guessed it a sense of humor coupled with spoonerisms. I take this straight from the article

“They often require a bit of imagination in order to find out which letters need to be changed to get a new meaning.”

This just goes to show it takes a lot of brains to be Polish. ( I will now cease and desist on making fun of Polish people)

I cant help it one more…………..does this mean the ultimate diss is actually a Polish spoonerism. In the great words of a very funny man Brian Regan,”I submit that it cannot”

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Mondays are the bomb…. Monday, Oct 30 2006

Wanna know why mondays are the bomb? Well its because everyone else hates them, so naturally I’m going to like them. I had an old friend of mine which shall remain nameless(oh what the heck his name was jared) that always had a nack for liking things that other people disliked, especially in the area of video games. He had the best one liner ever which went like this…

Hey Jared this game is awesome.

“No its way to commercialized”.

Then we would all get a good laugh. Well jared i’m playing a way too commercialized game right now, its called splinter cell double agent and what you choose affects which side believes in you. If you do one mission or side objective for one side you have to do another for the opposing side so no one side will not trust you. Its almost like the show Alias. Anyways this monday is also the bomb because we get one extra hour. Thats about it. Check me out at www.myspace.com/jcashion or on facebook.

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The good ole grind Thursday, Oct 26 2006

No I’m not talking about your speciality coffee beans from the little artistic neighborhood coffee shop called Star bizzles(Malibu’s Most Wanted). What I am talking about is the day to day almost zombie like unchallenged routine processes our minds go through. Well I’m here to stop that, errr um  for me not for you because that is your businassssssss.  So I’m stretching my brain by clicking the random article link on wikipedia. Yes its random useless information nonetheless but hey, who is the most entertaining person in a group. You got it the random useless information guy.  No I’m not saying i’m that guy wink wink nudge nudge.

Now is the time for the next grandiose paragraph. WOOT WOOT!!! We have inventory. Ok thats the end. Let me expound just a little bit. We have inventory for the next two days, so basically i wish I had some volleyball knee pads.  In other news I’m going to see Flags of our Fathers.

Ok until next time………….

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I will keep writing Monday, Oct 23 2006

There is nothing like writing and writing and writing but nobody checking out your stuff. I mean cmon people how hard are RSS feeds. Anyways enough of my I write useless material rant, there is more to life than blog hitz(note hacker spelling). Good news, I am going to corporate headquarters to talk with a lady about the possibility of being over an ebay store. Which would be a very interesting and fun job for me. However at the same time, we would probably have to move to Dallas and leave a really good church and the people that we are getting accustomed to behind. Plus we are just feeling settled in here in Houston. Hopefully all is well with the faithful readers(whoever that might be).

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Xbox Live and other schtuff Thursday, Oct 19 2006

Well I have to say I love xbox live. I play a lot of halo2 on there under the gamertag slurpeyatari. Every night i usually play with some friends from www.xboxmission.org/forums and friends from memphis.On october 17th my world turned upside down because xbox live was down for 24 for upgrades/maintenance.  During this time I pulled out my gamecube and played mario superstar baseball. Speaking of gamecube……………………….

Donkey Konga is an awesome game

Ok back on track anyways I have been playing under the gamertag slurpeyatari since Halo 2 came out about 2 years ago in November. When I first started playing I was a lost puppy due to being an avid halo 1 player but I caught on and honestly like halo 2 better. I’m trying to coerce my wife to buy me a 360 for christmas. I have 2 games I really want to play

1. Full Auto- This reminds me a lot of my favorite game of all time twisted metal 2

2. table tennis- I love ping pong. Since there is really no other game promoting table tennis this is going to be good.(especially since this game is made by rockstar who is infamous for grand theft auto games)

I have always been a gamer since the atari 2600, which was the first and only console my parents actually bought me. Since then I have owned around 6-7 consoles. My favorite is probably my n64 which has my favorite game of all time Goldeneye 007. Dang I wore that game out. ***Note while I might like video games they are definitely not my life***

Oh well enough about video games because i think you get the idea.

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Part 2 for the weekend trip Wednesday, Oct 18 2006

So here is a brief summary for the day the angels sing. No not when Mother Theresa was born, it was the day I married my wife. No she isnt Mother Theresa either. Well we went to the Alamo to check out some awesome history. You would think the Alamo would be bigger but it isnt. It has 2-3 small rooms and a large room in the center but other than that it really doesnt have much. Although that is not the true original alamo. If you are ever in San Antonio go check it out, but make sure to read all the info off of the little boards. They also have a scale model in the little gift shop to show you how it actually went down. So then we went to ripley’s believe it or not and to the wax museum where I was interviewed by oprah. During the heat of the moment, I had to do my Tom Cruise impression which turned out pretty good. Later that night, we went to eat for our anniversary and I rented a private dinner barge which took 2 hours. It was awesome because we toured the whole riverwalk(which actually is a natural river). During the whole course of the cruise everyone was yelling and whistling at us and we even got to cruise in the middle of the ampitheater and the little stage. (dangit i wish i had pictures to show you which i will when I get home). So anyways it was an awesome night and an awesome anniversary. I am the luckiest guy in the world.

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One year weekend Tuesday, Oct 17 2006

Well this weekend katie and me (sorry katie and I doesnt sound right does it…..but yet it is) went to San Antonio to celebrate our one year anniversary. It was a shorter drive than what I thought it was going to be. According to google maps, it was going to take over 4 hours. However, downtown San Antonio is a crap shoe trying to navigate through all the one way streets. So basically we drove by it at least 3 times before we pulled into the marriott and asked where the sheraton gunter was. Well we get to the Sheraton Gunter to find out they only have valet parking! I’m so not used to valet and dont like other people driving my car so I was reluctant but thought what the hey its my anniversary. As we check, the lady gives us free complimentary breakfast buffet tickets which was a pretty nice perk. Anyways, we got up saturday to go to sea world. We got our pictures taken with an albino snake and the Budweister Clysdales. Those things are so huge!!!!!! We also got to feed dolphins, watch shamu, and a cirque du soleil type show that had porpoises flying out of the water. I should be going now, there is another day I will describe where I received major brownie points. Stay tuned

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